Will The Water Wash it Away?
by Grayson's Redoubt
Summary: In a galaxy torn by war, with a Republic that's crumbling and an Empire at war with itself, there is nowhere to run for a woman who is tired of it all, for someone who wants no more blood on her hands and wants nothing to do with the Empire she works so furiously to change.


The datapad smashed into the opposite wall.

A long day had preceded all this Imperial snootishness, and Dan was not in the mood to deal with it at all. Throwing the datapad hadn't been the best choice, but it had made her feel better—momentarily. Head falling to her hands, the sorcerer groaned softly, wanting only to collapse back and go to sleep, but no. The Dark Council wanted to convene over some matter or another, and she wasn't quite daring enough to tell them to fuck off and leave her alone today.

The Fury was empty, and she wasn't changing that any time soon. Ashara, Talos, and Xalek were on some expedition to a planet in the Outer Rim, presumably following a lead on some archeology thing or another. Something she'd never found the interest in, past outwitting Zash. The Ewok mercenary was off Force knows where, probably attempting to hunt down a Rodian or Nautolan to eat (she reflected absently that Treek never had actually managed to secure one in decent condition). HK… HK was in the back of the ship, presumably recharging, and thankfully silent. Andronikos was gone, supervising the small fleet he was beginning to amass, returning to his pirate's ways and yet, retaining his ties to the Sith woman he had wed. It was stressful.

Not long ago she'd gotten a message from Andronikos, back before he'd gone to begin finding ships and crews, began to prey on Republic ships and help finish kicking down the same government he'd once served.

Dan was acutely aware of how cold the ship was, now, how empty and how fragile it was. She'd been her own protector for so long; she'd forgotten what it was like to have a protector, if only in name, in one place, in one way. She had seen Andronikos take down an acolyte in a handful of seconds, and while he was not her equal in combat, not in that manner, never could be—he was her equal in every other way.

_"We're in each other's orbits until the stars go cold. That's love, isn't it?"_

How could something so warm hurt so much? It was just—it was just silly, stupid emotions, and it hurt.

_"I know you better than you want to think."_

Force, how did such a rough-around-the-edges man get so far under her skin?

The woman shook her head, deciding that she wouldn't so much as tell the Dark Council that she'd be absent, let alone show up. She needed time to think, time to work all the kinks out of her mind and straighten her emotions. She didn't want the Council yanking her around by her own feelings. They already knew they could manipulate her with her crew, threatening Ashara or Xalek, threatening the Ewok mercenary, or Andronikos, or Talos or—

Abruptly, she stood, crossing the small bedroom and grabbing the cloak that hung on the wall, cloth flinging across her broad shoulders and settling around her frame, utterly hiding that she was even female, let alone Darth Noxx of the Council.

"Mind the ship, HK. I'll be back later."

A quiet affirmation returned in the droid's mechanical inflections, and she smiled softly. Boots shifted as she leaned from side to side, settling her feet within the leather once again before striding across the main hold and to the ramp.

Black hood was lifted up to cover equally dark hair, shading bright eyes from the perpetual gloom that was Dromund Kaas. If she ever got a chance to change her place of residence… she would. Dromund Kaas wasn't bad; just… it weighed heavily on her shoulders.

Rather than walk into the city to take the taxi to the Dark Council chambers, she walked the other way, out into the jungle. If something attacked, Dan wouldn't hesitate to end its life, but she wasn't looking for trouble, not today. Right now, she just wanted to walk.

Rain pattered off leaves and grass, slowly soaking her cloak. She didn't give a damn. It was life, and it was living. It was doing something she believed she would never get to truly do. Dan wanted her own life, away from the Council, away from the Sith, away from the turmoil of galactic war.

—She wanted a family. She wanted to hear children's feet running around, on ground, the laughter of toddlers as they learned to walk.

Her wanderings had brought her to the Fen of the Eldest, but she dared not disturb him, choosing instead to rest beneath one of the larger trees.

Away from the war. _Ha_. What a delusion that was. The Jedi would hardly take a woman who had caused this much damage into their ranks. The Dark Council would be relentless in hunting her down and the Jedi would mistrust her for the rest of her life. There was no way of pretending to be some ordinary hopeful looking to enter the Order; her power was too focused for that. It was no longer raw and uncontrolled as it had been on Korriban.

She had sisters—an adoptive daughter, but… Drayan was already fully grown; a Csillian orphan with sheer power in the Force and already an adult in her own right.

"'How hard can it be?'" How many times has she said that before? "I wish I knew…"

The rain dripped on, and time passed. Dusk, then darkness. She'd grown cold and stiff sitting there, and with a grumble, heaved herself to her feet, ignoring the protests of old scars. She needed to make the trek back to the Wall, at the very least.


End file.
